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A drug company thought they'd found a cure for itchiness but it didn't work - now they've got to start from scratch!
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Alcohol doesn't solve any of life's problems - but neither does milk!
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A bank was robbed by three armed men - the judge threw the case out - the accused only had two arms!
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A man exposed himself 144 times - he was charged with gross indecency!
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There was a dentist and a manicurist fighting each other - they were going at it tooth and nail!
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Everybody in the world is the same - they're all unique!
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A clairvoyant midget has escaped from prison - there's a small medium at large!
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A thief was caught stealing a calendar - he got twelve months!
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A woman was found drowned in a bath of rice crispies - police suspect a cereal killer!
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A farmer bought a herd of forgetful cows - they produce milk of amnesia!
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A woman can't have everything - where would she put it all!
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Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? That’s how dogs spend their lives
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When I woke up this morning my wife asked me, "Did you sleep well?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."
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When I get real bored I like to drive to a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me
if I'm leaving
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My neighbour has a circular driveway - he can't get out
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Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going
to be rough.
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An atheists worst moment is being truly grateful with no one to thank
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Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man. Communism is the other way round
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